The surreal world

I'm nearly two weeks into a regularly scheduled vacation but three weeks into a semi-permanent vacation. On May 14, I was laid off from my job of more than 10 years. 

To say it's been weird is an understatement. I won't delve into the details of the layoff -- I've thought about it too much already -- and I have leads and opportunities ahead. 

 I just ... can't ... seem ... to chill. 

The vacation was already on the books, and it has been nice. The boys, Michael's girlfriend and I drove from Utah to Northern Wisconsin first. After a couple days there, we drove to Chicago, did some fun stuff, attended my cousin's wedding, and visited with family. The three kids returned to Utah, and I'm staying an extra week.

I did this weeklong on-my-own trip to Chicago last year and loved it. I spent a day downtown, explored my old haunts, did some writing, visited friends, and unwound. I was planning it again for July, but then the layoff happened. I figured, if it's July and I don't have a job, I won't be willing to spend the money on a plane ticket, and if I am employed, I won't have the time off to fly out. So, I used miles for a plane ticket back home designated this week for my semi-solo Chicago week.

I'm three-plus days into it and, well, feel a little rattled. I've been doing so much career stuff that I'm seemingly missing the vacation-y, recharge part of this trip. I wanted to make some progress on the novel I've been working on for a while -- ironically, about trying to recapture something that feels just out of reach -- but haven't yet. I haven't explored much, and the old nostalgic haunts I driven by haven't thrown the inspiration my way I was hoping for.

I have done some non-career stuff -- going to an absolutely freezing Whealan Pool on Monday, mostly to say I went swimming once on this trip, and getting Pequod's for lunch yesterday -- but it's going too fast. The weather has stunk, too, which hasn't helped.

I'm at Oriole Park today -- I wrote here last year -- and chose to blog instead of novelize. I need to reset before, yes, more career things later. I spent so much time here as a kid, and it is helping clear my mind a little. And I can still come back here and work on the novel this weekend. 

It might have been inevitable that this entire trip would be dominated by the career situation. The past three weeks have been so surreal. And maybe something like the icy trip down the Whealan water slide (seriously, I have never been so cold swimming in my life) actually is good -- it upsets the brain flow so focused on finding work. Plus, this is just the beginning of the summer, and being here, no matter how much time I'm spending on my computer, represents a good start. 

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