The Summer Project: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (1987)

There we were, in my friend John's Caprice Classic, in the parking lot of our high school on the night before our senior year began. I'm not sure how my friends and I ended up there -- likely, we were driving around and couldn't find anything to do on this last unofficial night of summer. We were about to be seniors, which must have felt a little daunting to me. We wouldn't be out too late, but we weren't going to let the last night be wasted.

Finally, we had enough of contemplative conversation, and John did something in reverse, essentially, a reverse donut, for no real reason. He said, "That was fun" and did another. My friend Mike and I have differing memories of what happened next, but Mike uttered "light pole" a half-second before John hit it with the front right of the Caprice.

And thus, the summer of 1987 ended.

I kind of look back on this summer as my least favorite during the '80s. Being a teenager is rough -- something I remind myself anytime either son has struggled or is struggling -- and if I could excise the time between about April 1986 and September 1987 from my childhood, I would. This summer was the culmination of that frustration ... and I wasn't even yet 17.

However, the more I think about this summer, I'm not so sure why I am so indifferent about it. More specifically, I don't remember that much that really sucked.

I barely worked that summer, and in retrospect, I'm not sure why. I did some occasional clerical work for my mom's boyfriend, but otherwise, I wasn't that busy. What did I do every day? "All My Children" only took up an hour of the afternoon, so what did I do with the rest when my friends might have been working?

One of the things that made the summer of 1987 non-sucky was I made big, big strides toward diminishing my fear of water. My friend Tom had an above-ground pool, and my friends were supportive in encouraging but not overly pushing me to figure out how to get more comfortable. But I also swam in other friends' pools, a lake behind my track coach's cottage (the whole team spent a couple days up there to end the summer), and a couple small waterparks. I still had a long way to go, but I actually figured out to put my head underwater and not be freaked out.

I ran all summer with our cross country team and all-girls high school team near us that we shared a running camp with. I didn't run well senior year, but the nightly camp was fun and kept me in some semblance of shape.

The music wasn't great that summer but not terrible. U2 was all over the radio, especially "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." It wasn't a particularly notable summer for movies, though I do remember seeing "Spaceballs" in the theater. I played Nintendo for the first time and was hooked, and I imagine I played some classic games on my Atari 800XL. The Cubs stunk that year, and I wasn't playing Strat-o-Matic or Dungeons and Dragons.

Mostly, I think I just hung out with friends. We were all driving by then, and though my mom rarely let me use the car, we were suddenly mobile. I went to my first high school parties, though I didn't drink. I don't remember which girl(s) I liked that summer -- I'm sure there was someone, but no one so memorable/infamous that it stuck with me.

The more I think about it, the more fun times and specific non-bad memories from the summer of 1987 pop into my head. It wasn't perfect (I remember a few struggles), but it wasn't excise-able the way most of my junior year was. Perhaps because everything evolved when I became a senior. The end -- and a new beginning -- was in sight. I didn't suddenly become a different person, but things were ... easier. 

John somehow talked his way out of getting in big trouble with his parents for denting the car. School started, and summer was over. The next summer was great, but 1987 was there and not so bad.

Ben just started his senior year after a busy, eventful, and I hope fun summer. He's driving, working, hanging out with friends, and ready to make the most of his senior year. He and Michael might look back and remember a summer that wasn't so great (probably the first pandemic summer). Hopefully, they see the good amid the sucky. And hopefully, they find what they're looking for in the memories.