Tuesday, June 21, 2011
(Transcribed from a notebook. Photos of the sun going down behind Antelope Island are taken from my Droid so they aren't the greatest, and hell, I had to pick a spot with power lines.)
Tonight is the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. As I have done in past years (2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010), I drove myself to a hillside in Donner Park to watch the solstice sunset and reflect on the year that has passed. I almost drove to the H Rock to do this (the view is better), but came back to Donner -- I can actually sit here and enjoy a little solitude. I wish I had brought a sweatshirt or at least something with sleeves -- it's a little chilly for a tank top tonight. I'm about to put on "Sister Golden Hair" on my iPod -- the opening riff has always sounded like a sunset to me. I'm ready for that sunset.
Except, I'm not sure what I'm going to write about
The last year was a year. Nothing life-altering, nothing mind-shaterringly awesome, nothing too depressing (except the cats dying). The year was great, just not incredibly notable beyond me turning 40. Nothing I'm going to spend a thousand words reflecting upon.
But here's one thing I feel at the end of another 12 months -- the writing goals I've been working toward to achieving for years -- particularly since going part-time and becoming a stay-at-home-dad (with the goal of writing more) seem close, closer than ever. Even though my NaNoWriMo accomplishment of writing a novel was in 2009, I still feel that the experience awakened my creative side from a long dormancy. I've always had these writing goals that always seemed out of reach. Now, the goals feel achievable -- close. I've made plans on what and how I want to proceed with my writing -- I just need to actually proceed with those plans. Before, proceeding seemed impossible; now, it's simply a matter of "how soon" rather than just "how." This is my next step, so that 12 months from now, when I'm on this hillside again writing about what I've achieved since the previous summer, there is an achievement waiting to be celebrated.
I love my family more every day, and watching the boys grow a year older has been amazing. Life is crazy, but not so stressful that I can't function (dare I say, a good crazy?). Work is good and at the balance we sought out five years ago. And I'm writing more than ever and am about to take even more creative steps.
Maybe I did have something to write about tonight. Maybe this is the happiest I've ever been.