The better-late-than-never solstice post

My annual solstice post coming several days after the actual summer solstice is becoming a trend.

This year, the solstice fell on June 20, while I was in Chicago. I contemplated finding a clear spot to see the sunset -- not an easy task in Chicago where everything is pretty flat -- but it was cloudy and a little rainy. Vacation ended, and I was back in Salt Lake, but the evenings just never worked. I was too tired, finishing up on work, or didn't want to deal with oppressive heat. Even last night, after it's blessedly cooled off in SLC, the skies were a bit overcast and cleared up after I made a decision to stay home.

Today has been a incredibly perfect summer day, not too hot, blue skies, and I'm feeling energetic and optimistic. So I'm back at my hillside spot in Donner Park, staring out toward Antelope Island, where the sun is hovering above, albeit a couple degrees where it was two weeks ago. Sunset is actually later than it was om June 20 -- a little astronomically quirk in which mornings lose time before evenings do -- but I have another 20 minutes before it drops.

I've been this weird mix of emotions all the last month: gloomy, happy, scared, optimistic, excited, dread-filled, unsure, refreshed, stressed, nostalgic, exhausted, melancholy. So much is out of my control, but trying not to worry about those things is proving difficult. I've been attempting an ostrich approach, going out of my way to ignore the crap that's causing me distress, but that's not easy.

Instead, I want to write about the next steps. Seventeen years of these annual posts has seen the boys go from little kids to adults, with Ben starting college in six weeks. At the risk of being crazy redundant, it went too fast. That said, a next phase in my life (and Lori's) awaits. I don't want to be over-aggressive in jumping into that next phase, but I don't want it to just droop to me, either.

There are so many things in the past 21 years we gladly embraced as parents to two awesome kids. And those things made other things less of a priority. Perhaps this imminent empty nesting, even with Michael commuting from our basement and Ben just two miles from home, offers a chance to find new priorities, somewhere amid the things we willingly gave up, the realties that have somewhat, but not completely, passed as the boys grew up, and the adventures that await all four of us. 

I loved being part of the boys' lives as the grew up, now I'm excited about how we connect as adults. Lori and I went on exactly two trips together without the boys in the last 20 years -- that will surely change. Hobbies I always wished I had more time for are back on the table, as is more writing. Hopefully, grandkids are in our future, but there's time before that to enjoy. 

What can I do in the interim is take care of myself and my family the best I can. Enjoy the things I have. Never be satisfied with being lazy, but recognize that sometimes a little lazy is necessary. Be more organized to take advantage of what I'm blessed with. Not letting stresses stress me out, particularly the scary ones I might not be able to control. And continue to love fiercely, my friends and especially my family.

The sun is dropping behind the mountains. I can feel familiar breeze that kicks up when it does. In a year, I hope I'm reporting good things from the last 12 months. To quote a song from The Walkmen, "Remember, remember, all we fight for."

PAST SOLSTICE POSTS

 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Summer, Day 8

Today was Memorial Day, and as far as Memorial Days go, this one seemed somewhat anticlimactic. The sun came out after three less-than-stellar days, perhaps preventing the weekend from being a total bust. I worked late last night but was awake earlier than I wanted to be this morning. I fell back asleep and woke up around 10:30 to a thumping sound outside. Michael, Lori and my father-in-law got the rest of the sand in the base of the new basketball hoop, and Michael and his friend from across the street were shooting around. This was Lori's parents' last day in Utah, so we treated them to The Cheesecake Factory at the new City Creek mall downtown. I had the macaroni and cheese burger and most of a piece of Oreo cheesecake (no matter how much I pushed on my sons -- they wanted to share Lori's banana cream cheesecake). The boys and I wandered City Creek a little and came home. The afternoon wasn't much more eventful. Michael and I took Popcorn to the park for about
Read more

Vacation finale

Image
As expected, the last three days of vacation were much less eventful than the first 12. This happens every year -- we get back from Wisconsin for at least one day before leaving for Utah, and it's just wind-down time. And that's OK -- going nonstop for two weeks isn't easy, especially with kids. And vacation is supposed to be a time to relax, and for the past three days, that's what we did. The past few days weren't that relaxing, however. Monday, we met my mom, who is in Chicago this week, for lunch and then to Old Orchard Mall. That night, we met some friends at the new Superdawg (my favorite Chicago hot dog restaurant) in Wheeling. Tuesday, after pondering going downtown, we ended up just seeing the Smurfs movie with my dad. Last night, we went to dinner at a nice little Italian restaurant here in Edgebrook. Wednesday was mostly devoted to getting ready for our return trip Thursday morning. The heat and thunderstorms finally subsided -- this might have been the m
Read more

The Little Red Machine

Image
After blogging about Eldest's baseball experience (as well as mine as an assistant coach), I decided to write about my five years playing organized baseball as a kid. Long ago (the mid-1990s), I wrote about two of these seasons, so I will dig those up and transcribe/edit/add/revise when I post on those two seasons. This post will be about my first season, in 1978 on the Reds. We had moved into our new house in 1977, and my new friends, especially Marc, loved baseball and collected baseball cards. Even before we had moved that spring, I was started to become interested in baseball, so my interest exploded that summer. I had played basketball for two seasons at Norwood Park, so my father signed me up for t-ball in the spring of 1978 and bought me a glove (mass-autographed by Mickey Rivers!). I was placed on the Reds. The team was coached by a couple teenagers, including the older brother of one of my teammates. I don't remember many of my other teammates, except we had a bi
Read more